so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
