I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
