You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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