Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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