You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
