i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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