Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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