I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
