your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
