And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
