it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
