I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Randomize
