she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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