I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Randomize