Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'm sobbing to NWA
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
