u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize