In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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