remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
