i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
