I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize
