8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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