this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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