3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Randomize
