Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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