Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize
