what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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