so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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