I think i peed on brittanys purse
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
