did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
