A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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