he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
