i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
