you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
