I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
