those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
