it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize