the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
