So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
