arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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