there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Randomize
