wat bout pragnant strippers??
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Randomize
