so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Randomize
