textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
