I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
