no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Randomize
