I am puke
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize