This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
home. puking in laundry basket.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
