Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I want her autograph on my taint
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
