What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
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