I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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