worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Randomize
