Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
