hell yes lets make some ravioli
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
