glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
