In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
