You're completely useless in the revolution.
Small penises have feelings too.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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