That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
