My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize