Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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