enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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