My brain says no but my pants say off.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize