Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Come see our sink grown plant.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
me + whiskey = a bad person
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Randomize