Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
