I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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