i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
