just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
The adults are the big ones right?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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