Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize