Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
