You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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